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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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We head over to the pub later, and it’s packed. I mean, it’s a Friday night, so what do I expect? We squeeze in, and I order a pint. The vibe is electric, and I’m finally feeling it. But then, the music starts blasting, and I can’t hear a thing. I’m trying to chat with Dave, but it’s like shouting into a hurricane.

Over 620,000 Kildare and Dublin residents to benefit from €30m investment in Leixlip water plant